Finding God

Lost.

Confused.

Alone.

Curled up in a ball, crying on my bed. I had received some pretty heavy, shocking news. It rocked me to my core. I thought things were going pretty well and the rug was pulled right out from under me. Didn't know who to turn to. Didn't even know who I was or what we were anymore.

This is where God found me. 

My husband had made some bad, hurtful choices. Guilt told him he needed to hide it all from me. Inside he was a mess. Conflicted, confused, and angry he withheld the truth from everyone. But God had other plans.

That September night, God had enough of the lies. Broken, honest, and sorry, the truth came out, like a blinding flash of light. Everything lay bare at our feet. But it didn’t come without a price.

Whether we knew it right away or not, God was working. Through the arguments and the counseling He had been there. And now in extreme brokenness, He was helping us pick up the pieces.

It wasn’t that I didn’t know God before. We met every Sunday since I was very small, sitting next to my Grandmother in the church pew. I sang His songs and prayed the prayers. But he always felt far away.

But it was in this painful, lost place, heart exposed, that He showed me how close he really was. That He had always been but a whisper away.

This became a defining moment, when God saved a marriage and began a healing process meant to redeem two of his children. And He wants this for you, too.

You may not believe. You may not know who God is. He may be working in your life and you can't see it. You may be struggling, hurting, or feeling alone. But God loves the brokenhearted. He cares for the misfit and the imperfect. Like in our story, He doesn’t wait for you to get it all right.

He is close. Only a whisper away.