A Spring Stirring

There's an ant scampering along the edge of my kitchen sink and I pause my attack to glance out the window as the first clothes of the season whip and swing on the clothesline outside.

The sun has made a glorious appearance bringing with it a warm breeze and the aroma of spring.

I've been quieter than usual here.

I long to write, but the words are hanging — in a good jumble I've been trying to sort out for weeks.

So much goodness, I'm not even sure where to start.

Daffodils bloom happy and I catch the sweet scent of hyacinth in the air.

The changing season elicits reflection. This last year has felt like winter — long, hard, and sometimes lonely. When beauty lay mostly dormant, quiet, and dark.

I have felt like the bulb, buried deep beneath the dark, rich soil. Waiting. Struggling to see. Trusting in the promise that spring would come.

I sense I'm at the surface now. I feel the warmth of the Light. I'm beginning to see some things for the very first time.

But still I wait.

This stirring inside I cannot explain fully. Yet.

A simple knowing grows within, that I am loved and that I matter. Truths I have tried to disprove most of my life, preferring instead, to allow the betrayals of others to inform me of my worth.

Those lies are dying a slow death. And I'm standing in their ashes waiting for whatever is next, consumed by hope and peace and His presence.

I feel renewed, reformed, reshaped.

But still I sit — expectant and unsure, almost afraid to move.

Wondering how much to share and when. And whether the depth of it is even something that can be understood by someone not walking in my shoes.

I appreciate your presence with me on this journey. And I apologize if it all seems a little cryptic. Have you ever experienced a season like this? When you know He's working, but He hasn't given you the words yet?

—————————————————————————————————————
Linking up with the Soli Deo Gloria Sisterhood. This "stirring time" also ties into my one word for this year, so you can also find me at Circles of Faith.