Rancid Regret: When You're Clean But You Think You Stink

Every day I live with regrets.

Some are losses — people, opportunities, innocence.

Some are disappointments — a bad decision, a chance I didn't take, a desire for a different outcome.

Many things I have had to grieve. All things I cannot change.

I don't think regret is a bad thing, especially if I did something wrong. Regrets can help us see our mistakes, so we can make wiser choices in the future.

Sometimes, though, regrets become more than just a mistake or an opportunity to live and learn. We can become chained to certain regrets and allow them to define us.

Like souring milk or bad chicken, we can't escape this rancid regret. And it can really stink up the place!

We use rancid regrets to prove how awful we are. We judge ourselves by them and tell ourselves we are not worthy.

But God has a different message. His way covers it all — even the most repugnant odors.

We may choose to condemn ourselves for the things we have done and live in that condemnation for the rest of our lives. A prideful path and a sin against God.

Or we may choose to accept His death on the cross as an amendment for our misdoings — a remedy for our rancidness.

So how do you embrace regrets and stop feeling like a failure? How can I forgive myself when I can't erase what I've done?

Perhaps it starts with understanding what it looks like to live forgiven?

Forgiveness means I am sincerely sorry. I desire to make a different choice, if there is a next time. I acknowledge what I did was wrong, but it is no longer held against me. It is a second chance. A do-over. If I'm forgiven, what I did does not control or define who I am today or how others see me or how I see myself.

A good friend advised, "Let go of the condemnation (it's not our job) and live in wisdom."

Live in wisdom. Maybe instead of judging and punishing ourselves, we allow our mistakes, especially the big ones, to teach and change us. Even God believed the best teachers were the ones with the most life experience — the least likely characters, who didn't have it all together. Your mistakes make you wiser (or they should).

Every day I live with regrets. But I deep down know this truth—

I am clean. White as snow. A sweet-smelling fragrance blessed by God. And absolutely, unconditionally loved, valued, and forgiven by Him.

"Good things come to those who are patient and still hope, even though they've been let down and disappointed, to those who still believe even though they've failed at something, to those who still love even though they've been hurt before. So never regret anything that has happened in the past; it cannot be changed, undone or forgotten. Take it all as lessons learned and move on with grace." Anonymous

Living radically with Ann at "A Holy Experience"…