Butterflies in my stomach. Eyes darting, scanning for the nearest exit. Feeling terribly uncomfortable in my own skin. It wasn't an allergic reaction to something I ate and there's no cure.
"You are so quiet!" — Impression accomplished. Feeling misunderstood, absolutely.
I am a "closet" introvert. People seem surprised when they find out. I keep it under wraps, but inside it can still suffocate me.
Introverts may be one of the most misunderstood social groups. I can't tell you how many times in a new setting, with people I don't know, someone has informed the room about how quiet I am.
I concede that in that particular setting I don't have a lot to say. Small talk and I just never got along that well. I will participate and answer questions, but when the "where are you from's" and the "what do you do's" have been exchanged, I'm left with a big pile of…not much to say.I should clarify that I actually have A LOT to say (ask anyone who knows me well). I just prefer to share it with someone I know actually cares or could benefit from my sharing. Or maybe it's just a comfort thing. Sometimes I don't even understand myself!
I attended a blogging conference recently and at 2 different dinner occasions the person next to me just flat out ignored me. I mustered my introverted courage and decided I would make the first move (I do occasionally try to put myself out there). These women did respond and chatted politely with me for a few moments, but we spent the remainder of our meal in silence. They seemed more interested in chatting with the friend in the chair next to them. Not sure how to navigate that!
Irregardless, I just wanted you to know how hard social settings can be for an introvert like me.
And make an important statement: Be patient and try to get to know me because I am anything but QUIET!
Linking up today with Lisa-Jo:
Good Morning! Popping on over from the 5 minute Friday meme. My first time participating.
ReplyDeleteI'm much of an introvert myself in my aging wisdom-- haha! I wasn't always as quiet, but now I much prefer to just sit back, listen, and observe. Maybe having children has contributed to this.
I've enjoyed reading your post while sipping my morning coffee.
Blessings on your day,
~The Mrs.
Thanks for visiting, Mrs! And welcome to Five Minute Friday! I agree, there is a time to speak and a time to be quiet. But for me, sometimes I am quiet when I really want to be engaging with others. Maybe age will provide the wisdom or maybe I should just embrace who I am and not worry about the rest. :)
ReplyDeleteChristy
It's almost like you're describing me here! I'm an introvert, but I love people,so often, my friends forget I'm an introvert, and wonder why I'm being so quiet when they take me to a room crowded with people I don't know. Truth is I'm very happy to just sit and people watch.
ReplyDeleteI've learnt to let my love for people outweigh my introvertedness (I think I made that word up!) a lot of the time though. To connect even when it's uncomfortable, to TRY and make small-talk.
Small-talk is still one of my least fave things though. Sit me down with a mug of tea and a good deep&meaningful chat and I'm ALL there. Try to talk to me about the weather, and the latest celebrity and I'm zoned out.
I can relate to the part about small talk.. I much better in a group of people I am comfortable with as well.. reading about your experience at the conference filled my heart with anxiety just reading it..LOL Great post, good to know I am not alone in this. :)
ReplyDeleteHappy to see I'm not the only one! Thinking most writers are introverted, better at speaking through writing then perhaps speaking in person.
ReplyDeleteThanks for visiting and sharing your thoughts!
I always thought that being an introvert made me uncool or shy, but that's not true at all! Since I started studying it, I've understood myself more than ever. It's great when we experience that "ah-ha" moment and embrace who God made us!
ReplyDelete